Written by It’s a question I get all the time. Should I stay with a sex addict? What is wrong with giving it a few more years? I need to know I gave it my ‘everything’.
Most of us do stay with our sex addicts…for as long as it takes for us to realize they cannot change, or until we realize how much we have changed.
For any of you who are, or are contemplating, staying with a sex addict, I would like you to consider how much that will change your very core, the substance of who you are, in very subtle and insidious ways.
When we live with a sex addict our ‘normal’ slowly changes. We don’t realize it, but, in order to simply survive we learn to accept subtle nuances that change our perception of normal and change how we act, react and function.
- We learn to live with non communication.
- We learn to live with men who take so much more than they give.
- We learn to accept walking on eggshells and cringing every time someone of ‘their type’ walks into their line of vision.
- We learn to live with having sex instead of making love.
- We learn to accept cancers and illnesses because our immune systems are destroyed by stress.
But, worst of all, we become so much less than who we really are. We learn to survive by ignoring and avoiding our feelings. We stuff our emotions. We hide our anger because it gets us nowhere with them.
We start to become just like them.
It’s true that if you:
Live with a crazy person, you will become crazy.