What to Ask Your Therapist Partners often endure further trauma by therapists who want to call us names such as co-dependent, co-addict or co-sex addict. Many therapists claim to use the ‘trauma model’ but want the Partners to share in the blame, commit to staying with the sex addict for a year

What Partners Say-Sisterhood of Support In this new weekly series, 'What Partners Say' I have gleaned the best of the best testimonials from the private forums of what partners say about sex addiction and the support they get from the Sisterhood. These are all anonymous and any personal informatio

In this new weekly series, 'What Partners Say' I have gleaned the best of the best wisdom from the private forums of what partners say about sex addiction.

One of the first reactions of women who discover that their husband or partner is a sex addict is to get him into sex addiction therapy. But, does that therapy really work?

Why does a man choose hookers over his family? Why didn’t we see this major flaw in our husbands? Why do we stay and have nervous breakdowns when we find out? Why do therapists push us towards acknowledging our part? Why are we triggered? Why can’t we just walk out the door and never look back?

It is time to publicly rate your therapist. Somehow, some way the 'do no harm' philosophy has been lost on CSATs and therapists who counsel sex addicts and their partners. I hear story after story after story of blame shifting, name calling and outright deception and lying about the therapists undis

This article, by Dr. Minwalla echoes what we, at the Sisterhood, have been saying for years. Dr. Omar Minwalla is the only professional who really seems to understand the complexity and scope of this thing we call 'sex addiction'. This article is so important it should be posted on every Partner's r

Written by a Sister who wishes to remain anonymous... “The heart wants what it wants - or else it does not care.” No, that was not Woody Allen, (although he did quote an obscene version of it as a way to justify running off with his adopted daughter). It was Emily Dickinson, my favorite poet. Sh

We have had some interesting discussions in the Sisterhood forums as to whether or not women can find happiness after discovering that they are in a relationship with a sex addict and if their marriage can be better than ever. The phrase that 12 steppers, therapists  and Intensive Therapy programs

As you know from my previous post I am working on some audio tapes to help you relax and feel good about yourselves during this stressful time after Discovery and while trying to make those difficult decisions. Well, if you add the holidays to the mix and we are all basket cases. Here is a short tap

The news coverage of Ray Rice brutally beating his fiancee unconscious has brought back a flood of memories for me. I was a teen in the 60's and fought long and hard, alongside other courageous women, to win basic rights. Our right to be treated at least as well as animals does not seem to apply to

I have the utmost respect for Dr. Omar Milwalla and his work with Partners of Sex Addicts

I shouldn't have to say this, but I guess I do. Sisters, this website is very private. All of the Sisters depend upon and trust each other to keep our safe place safe. Yet, once in a while,our safety is violated by a snooping husband. Even worse is when our safety is violated by a Sister herself. Ou

Some Partners have said that you can always tell when a Sex Addict is lying--because their lips are moving. Unfortunately, that is true. Most Sex Addicts lie out of simple self preservation, preservation of the facade that they present. Let's think about it. These guys have lied all of their lives.

Honestly, I get so sick of reading and hearing over and over that men are genetically programmed to cheat. Those espousing this theory claim that men are programmed to spread their seed far and wide in order to ensure the survival of the species. Just like other male based thought processes, this on

Note: I wrote this in 2013. Watch for updates. ~ JoAnn Although I have not been able to find any serious research papers on frontal lobe volume loss in sex addicts, there are more than enough professional opinions out there that claim that sex addicts exhibit the same changes in their brains as othe

A heartfelt letter written by a member of the Sisterhood: Dear Patrick Carnes, Stefanie Carnes, Robert Weiss, All CSAT Counselors And Sex Addiction 12 Step Advocates, Please consider this letter an urgent request to change the current 12 step/co-addict approach that has been perpetuated in the fiel

Although the Sex Addiction gurus, like Carnes and Weiss, claim that any Sex Addict can change and recover if they really want to, and some even claim a 100% success rate, those of us who have lived and researched the behaviors that are called Sex Addiction know that is just not possible. Yet even th

The debate of whether Sex Addiction is really an addiction will not be settled soon, especially while expensive treatment centers continue to offer five figure 'cures'. I have stated for years that I do not believe that the compulsive sexual behaviors that these so called Sex Addicts engage in are n

Here on the Sisterhood we have all acknowledged the narcissistic, self-indulgent behaviors of Sex Addicts. But, there is a strange behavior that I have noticed in Larry, and in some of the stories that I have read. I am not sure what to call it, but I know it exists. In fact, it almost seems like 'S

The Holiday Season is upon us and for Partners of Sex Addicts the stress can become unbearable.  Here's a few ideas to help you through the Holidays and deal with all that holiday stress. Ahhhh...the holiday season. Blinking colored lights everywhere, crowded malls, shopping lists, noise, everyone

When I started my first website almost a decade ago my mission was to offer women who were in a relationship with a Sex Addict the information and resources that I did not have when I made my Discovery. Information that would have helped me decide if I should stay or go. I made my decisions without

As if we women don't have enough societal hurdles and hoops to jump through, here we have what appears to be a sensible review of a new book that exposes the greed driven practices of  pharmaceutical companies that want to make women's normalcy and uniqueness an illness so they can sell us pills to

Here's why everyone should monitor their children's internet activity.* -The average age of someone finding porn online is 11. -Sex and Porn are among the top 5 search terms for kids under 18. -Only 3% of adult web sites require age verification. -Fewer than half (48 percent) of U.S. parents set par