How on Earth do you get over sex addiction betrayal?

My story is very similar to other sex addiction stories what I have read on your site – an 18 year sham relationship. I have been lied to, manipulates and gaslighted by a truly evil narcissist, who has even taken money from his kid’s bank accounts to fund his sordid habit.

I got chlamydia and gonorrhea for Christmas, yet when he got tested after, his results came back clear, so in friends and families eyes he is innocent. He even left himself a reminder on the table, ‘Ciana – 10am Saturday’, then changed it to say ‘Cinema’ when he returned home an hour later.

I had a breakdown. I couldn’t eat, sleep or function. I spent a month on a mental ward. I am now stronger, and moved out of the facade of a forever family home. That’s another sore point – he is only paying interest only payments on the mortgage, so that he has extra money in his pocket. I’ve moved into a rental and the children share their time with me and their perfect Dad. I’m hoping that will change though as he intends to sell the family home.

My new home is lovely and the children are settled, however, I am still a shaking wreck. I am on 2 lots of antidepressants and am eating and semi -sleeping, but I don’t know what I can do to get over my all consuming intrusive thoughts. I am too depressed to read or watch TV and too ill to work, so I don’t know how to fill my time and distract me from my thoughts. The summer holidays are almost here, yet I am no longer the confident, proactive Mum, taking the kids for trips out. I just want to curl up in a ball…

Everyone says it’s a grieving process and it will take time. I just can’t stand that it fills my head constantly. Any advice please?

T.

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