Written by I have the utmost respect for Dr. Omar Milwalla and his work with Partners of Sex Addicts
Sisters, this website is very private. All of the Sisters depend upon and trust each other to keep our safe place safe. Yet, once in a while our safety is violated by a snooping husband. Even worse is when our safety is violated by a Sister herself. Our conversations, our private thoughts and emotions, are strictly confidential and are not to be shared with anyone, especially our Sex Addict partners. It does not matter if … Continue reading “Please Sisters, Protect Our Privacy”
Some Partners have said that you can always tell when a Sex Addict is lying–because their lips are moving. Unfortunately, that is true. Most Sex Addicts lie out of simple self preservation, preservation of the facade that they present. Let’s think about it. These guys have lied all of their lives. It is second nature. You have to be a very good liar to lead a double life, to hide your activities, to make plausible … Continue reading “The Truth About Lying”
Honestly, I get so sick of reading and hearing over and over that men are genetically programmed to cheat. Those espousing this theory claim that men are programmed to spread their seed far and wide in order to ensure the survival of the species. Just like other male based thought processes, this one just doesn’t stand up under even the simplest scrutiny. Here’s why. First, let’s strip away the erroneous basis for this theory–that all … Continue reading “Debunking The ‘Men Are Genetically Programmed To Cheat’ Theory”
A heartfelt letter written by a member of the Sisterhood: Dear Patrick Carnes, Stefanie Carnes, Robert Weiss, All CSAT Counselors And Sex Addiction 12 Step Advocates, Please consider this letter an urgent request to change the current 12 step/co-addict approach that has been perpetuated in the field of sexual addiction. The historical underpinning of Bill Wilson’s model for alcoholism has serious negative implications for evidence-based practice, even for sobriety standards, even though its evolution at … Continue reading “An Open Letter To Patrick Carnes”
Although the Sex Addiction gurus, like Carnes and Weiss, claim that any Sex Addict can change and recover if they really want to, and some even claim a 100% success rate, those of us who have lived and researched the behaviors that are called Sex Addiction know that is just not possible. Yet even the most traumatized women, and a lot of Sisters here on the site seem to cling to the hope that there … Continue reading “The 5% Recovery Myth For Sex Addicts”
I have been watching a situation unfold in the forums that has caused me to do some deep soul searching and thinking about our ability to recognize Personality Disorders in Partners of Sex Addicts. The Sisterhood is a closely knit group of women whose traumatic experiences bind us together more closely than if we were biologically related. We can almost finish each other’s sentences and we share each other’s pain and victories as if they … Continue reading “Personality Disorders In Partners Of Sex Addicts”
The debate of whether Sex Addiction is really an addiction will not be settled soon, especially while expensive treatment centers continue to offer five figure ‘cures’. I have stated for years that I do not believe that the compulsive sexual behaviors that these so called Sex Addicts engage in are not signs of a true addiction but are symptoms of an underlying Personality Disorder. So, if I believe that Sex Addicts are not really addicts, … Continue reading “If They Are Not Really Addicts Why Do We Call Them Sex Addicts?”
Here on the Sisterhood we have all acknowledged the narcissistic, self-indulgent behaviors of Sex Addicts. But, there is a strange behavior that I noticed in my husband, and in some of the stories that I have read. I am not sure what to call it, but I know it exists. In fact, it almost seems like ‘Serial Recovery’ although it does not deserve that label by any stretch of the imagination. I am writing from … Continue reading “Serial Recovery?”
The Holiday Season is upon us and for Partners of Sex Addicts the stress can become unbearable. Here are a few ideas to help you through the Holidays and deal with all that holiday stress. Ahhhh…the holiday season. Blinking colored lights everywhere, crowded malls, shopping lists, noise, everyone telling you their wants and needs, your most hateful family members promising to invade your space and those damn holiday tunes that keep playing in your head … Continue reading “Ten Things To Help Partners Of Sex Addicts Deal With Holiday Stress”
When I started my first website almost a decade ago my mission was to offer women who were in a relationship with a Sex Addict the information and resources that I did not have when I made my Discovery. Information that would have helped me decide if I should stay or go. I made my decisions without facts or reality, decisions that would have been very different if I had been allowed all of the … Continue reading “He’s A Sex Addict! Should I Stay Or Go?”
As if we women don’t have enough societal hurdles and hoops to jump through, here we have what appears to be a sensible review of a new book that exposes the greed driven practices of pharmaceutical companies that want to make women’s normalcy and uniqueness an illness so they can sell us pills to ‘make us better’. The book sounds good, the topic provocative and so I started to read the review with interest. But … Continue reading “Cave Men And Evolution”