Written by Has anyone else had the unfortunate experience of their Sex Addict getting another woman pregnant as a result of the addiction? I have and I wanted to talk about it. its just another facet of this nightmare that i am having trouble dealing with.
I received this desperate message from a woman who was dealing with the pain of her Sex Addict husband getting another woman pregnant. Unfortunately sex addiction and pregnancy is an all too common issue with Sex Addiction that is rarely addressed.
Many sex addicts don’t use protection, and if they are engaging in sex with either affair partners or women who are scam artists, the risk of pregnancy is quite high. Consequences range from broken families to blackmail. Prostitutes usually use some form of birth control and will usually get an abortion if they get pregnant, although they may use the opportunity to coerce the Sex Addict for money.
This is just one of the many risks women are vulnerable to when they are in a relationship with a Sex Addict. It’s unethical that counselors, therapists and CSATs do not address all the risks that partners take when they are encouraged to stay with a Sex Addict. Any woman who remains in a relationship with a Sex Addict should be told of the emotional, physical and financial risks that come if the Sex Addict is not truly in recovery or, as they like to call it…if they ‘slip’ (which partners are told to accept).
If a Sex Addict lies about his recovery, which is very common, and continues his sexual activities outside of the relationship; or has a few ‘slips’, he is putting his partner, his family and his security at a huge risk.
Most partners want to save their marriage, but they need to make the decision to stay knowing all the facts and the risks. STDs, unwanted pregnancies, financial ruin, job loss and jail are all very real possibilities for a man who is engaging in activities that are illegal or that leave him vulnerable to scams or physical harm.
If you choose to stay in a relationship with a Sex Addict it’s wise to have healthy boundaries to keep yourself safe. Hope for the best but plan for the worst and trust but verify.
Here’s some articles you may be interested in:
10 Questions To Ask Your Therapist
I am so sorry that this has happened. I have only had a few stories from partners who knew that their sex addict husband had a child by another woman but I have no details to share with you. I can relate a story about a young (underage) teenage boy who had a brief affair with an older woman. Eleven years later, when he was in a happy, long term relationship, the woman filed a claim for child support and filed for the eleven years prior. She won her case. This was a huge financial blow to the couple.
What is the situation now with child support? Does he want to or does he have a relationship with the child? Is he still in contact with the mother?
Now, more importantly, how do you feel about this? Have you discussed it with your husband? This is not something that can be swept under the rug. If you and your husband are staying together these issues will add a huge burden on the relationship. If you are separated or divorced it could affect your own alimony and/or child support payments.
I wish you well dear Sister, please be kind to yourself. ~ JoAnn
It happened to me. It broke my heart. Almost 2 years later he is now in a new relationship with another girl. I confronted him and all he would answer is “idk” and “I don’t feel happy”.
I feel like I am a denial…but I don’t have the courage to break my kids heart…what do I do?
I too have heard a personal story about a one night stand, and 10 years later the man (now married) was confronted with a paternity test brought by the state and litigation for back child support. And the woman was married when the child was born and had her husbands name on the birth certificate, but they went after the biological dad after the husband proved he wasn’t the biological father.