Excuses Sex Addicts Say When They Are Caught

You have got to be kidding

Here are some of the excuses sex addicts say when they are ‘caught with their pants down’. These are real excuses that real sex addicts have told partners here in the Sisterhood.

I had sex with her but I didn’t kiss her
I only felt one of her boobs
She wasn’t totally naked, she had her stockings on
It wasn’t me, It was my penis
I’m an open book
You know, I never thought of it that way
She was convenient
Well, I’m a sex addict
I didn’t put it in
I didn’t plan to do it
It’s just sex, no big deal
Female escorts are too expensive so I went for the she-male, they are cheaper
It’s the truth, I promise
She was like a free therapist (ah was that a sex therapist?)
I can stop any time I want to
She was lonely and stalking me
What’s wrong with sexting?
I don’t have the bandwidth to deal wIth this right now
I just met the Craigs List ad woman for coffee
I’m not a sex addict I’m just an asshole
I have no idea who I am
But it’s not my Intention to hurt you
I’m trying
There’s nothing more, I have told you everything now
Look, I have a shocking memory, OK?!
Oh, for God’s sakes, that was 6 months ago!
Not to my knowledge
I don’t even know her name!
Part of it is…
Why can’t you just let it go…
I promise, I’ve changed…
Just like you to try and make her sound like a slut!
I don’t think you need an STD test because I always used a condom with the hookers
Of course I know how you feel I’ve done a step 4…
I need intimacy
She chased me
It was dark, I didn’t see nothin’
I kept my clothes on but forgot to wear my condom
I shave my pubs so they don’t get caught in my zipper
I am taking testosterone pills to help with my workout
I’m committed to this marriage
She ran out of lotion so nothing happened
I’m sorry I hurt you
It was just a strip club (not a massage)
I was playing with fire, but nothing happened
I’m working on things and I need you to meet me halfway
I answered her ad but we never met
We met but we just talked
I kissed her and walked away
I couldn’t get it up
We went to bed but didn’t have sex
I never needed a condom. These women are very intelligent
All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect you
If I had known how much damage it would cause I would have thought twice ( I guess that implies he was thinking)
Why won’t you take any accountability?
How about giving me some room to breathe here?
I’m sick, would you leave me if I had leukemia?
The bus took forever
A client came in right at closing
What do you want from me?
You’re never happy
I can’t win
You’re always tired
It was a wrong number
I did it because the dog makes too much noise drinking water
Those are your sister’s underwear
I was too busy to care about you
If I smashed someone’s car, yes, I’d be responsible, and take responsibility, but this is different
I keep thinking, why won’t you let me have my privacy? Why do you have to know everything?
I am so sick. Can’t you see my madness?
See, my antidepressants are proof I’m ill!
I’ve been distant/ignoring you because I wanted to give you a relaxing week
Thinking about your well being or if I’m hurting you, just doesn’t enter my mind
My behavior stops right now
When are you ever going to get over this?
This hooker just walked up to me in downtown Atlanta and gave me her card
I’m working on step 4, the honest inventory one. So I wrote five pages about what’s wrong with you
I would jump in front of a train for you
I felt bad for her
‘This is not my bra! Who’s bra is this on my bathroom floor?’ I swear, I have no idea! Maybe the dog found it outside and brought it in!
I swear, this time it’s really the truth
I never stopped loving you
I didn’t think I would ever get caught
I never lied, you never asked
I only lie about important shit, like sex and money. Everything else I am honest
I could never have an affair I just do my thing
You are denying my reality
You always have to persecute me
I didn’t know that was wrong, I guess it is now that I’m married, thanks for pointing that out
I’m not doing that anymore
I’m so glad I’m not a slave to that anymore
I had the prostitutes come to the house because I’m too cheap to pay for a hotel room
I thought it was a transsexual when she/he put his fInger up my rectum and it felt kind of forceful
I turned down a few of the prostitutes because they were dirty
I’m committed to this marriage

And…the infamous  I DON’T REMEMBER!

4 thoughts on “Excuses Sex Addicts Say When They Are Caught”

  1. The “I don’t remember”and talking about things as if they were things that someone else did. Always using words like “maybe” “probably” “ I’m 90% sure that..” “around this time period.. don’t know the exact month or day” etc. it makes me feel like he’s still trying to leave wiggle room to change his story later.

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