Written by a Sister who wishes to remain anonymous… “The heart wants what it wants – or else it does not care.” No, that was not Woody Allen, (although he did quote an obscene version of it as a way to justify running off with his adopted daughter). It was Emily Dickinson, my favorite poet. … Continue reading “Written by a Sister”
We have had some interesting discussions in the Sisterhood forums as to whether or not women can find happiness after discovering that they are in a relationship with a sex addict and if their marriage can be better than ever. The phrase that 12 steppers, therapists and Intensive Therapy programs pitch is the ‘Your marriage … Continue reading “Is There Really a ‘Better Than Ever’ After Discovery?”
As you know from my previous post I am working on some audio tapes to help you relax and feel good about yourselves during this stressful time after Discovery and while trying to make those difficult decisions. Well, if you add the holidays to the mix and we are all basket cases. Here is a … Continue reading “A Relaxation Gift for My Sisters”
The news coverage of Ray Rice brutally beating his fiancee unconscious has brought back a flood of memories for me. I was a teen in the 60’s and fought long and hard, alongside other courageous women, to win basic rights. Our right to be treated at least as well as animals does not seem to apply … Continue reading “Abuse is Abuse is Abuse”
I have the utmost respect for Dr. Omar Milwalla and his work with Partners of Sex Addicts
Sisters, this website is very private. All of the Sisters depend upon and trust each other to keep our safe place safe. Yet, once in a while our safety is violated by a snooping husband. Even worse is when our safety is violated by a Sister herself. Our conversations, our private thoughts and emotions, are … Continue reading “Please Sisters, Protect Our Privacy”
Some Partners have said that you can always tell when a Sex Addict is lying–because their lips are moving. Unfortunately, that is true. Most Sex Addicts lie out of simple self preservation, preservation of the facade that they present. Let’s think about it. These guys have lied all of their lives. It is second nature. … Continue reading “The Truth About Lying”
Honestly, I get so sick of reading and hearing over and over that men are genetically programmed to cheat. Those espousing this theory claim that men are programmed to spread their seed far and wide in order to ensure the survival of the species. Just like other male based thought processes, this one just doesn’t … Continue reading “Debunking The ‘Men Are Genetically Programmed To Cheat’ Theory”
A heartfelt letter written by a member of the Sisterhood: Dear Patrick Carnes, Stefanie Carnes, Robert Weiss, All CSAT Counselors And Sex Addiction 12 Step Advocates, Please consider this letter an urgent request to change the current 12 step/co-addict approach that has been perpetuated in the field of sexual addiction. The historical underpinning of Bill … Continue reading “An Open Letter To Patrick Carnes”
Although the Sex Addiction gurus, like Carnes and Weiss, claim that any Sex Addict can change and recover if they really want to, and some even claim a 100% success rate, those of us who have lived and researched the behaviors that are called Sex Addiction know that is just not possible. Yet even the … Continue reading “The 5% Recovery Myth For Sex Addicts”
The debate of whether Sex Addiction is really an addiction will not be settled soon, especially while expensive treatment centers continue to offer five figure ‘cures’. I have stated for years that I do not believe that the compulsive sexual behaviors that these so called Sex Addicts engage in are not signs of a true … Continue reading “If They Are Not Really Addicts Why Do We Call Them Sex Addicts?”
Here on the Sisterhood we have all acknowledged the narcissistic, self-indulgent behaviors of Sex Addicts. But, there is a strange behavior that I noticed in my husband, and in some of the stories that I have read. I am not sure what to call it, but I know it exists. In fact, it almost seems … Continue reading “Serial Recovery?”
The Holiday Season is upon us and for Partners of Sex Addicts the stress can become unbearable. Here are a few ideas to help you through the Holidays and deal with all that holiday stress. Ahhhh…the holiday season. Blinking colored lights everywhere, crowded malls, shopping lists, noise, everyone telling you their wants and needs, your … Continue reading “Ten Things To Help Partners Of Sex Addicts Deal With Holiday Stress”
When I started my first website almost a decade ago my mission was to offer women who were in a relationship with a Sex Addict the information and resources that I did not have when I made my Discovery. Information that would have helped me decide if I should stay or go. I made my … Continue reading “He’s A Sex Addict! Should I Stay Or Go?”
As if we women don’t have enough societal hurdles and hoops to jump through, here we have what appears to be a sensible review of a new book that exposes the greed driven practices of pharmaceutical companies that want to make women’s normalcy and uniqueness an illness so they can sell us pills to ‘make … Continue reading “Cave Men And Evolution”