What to Ask Your Therapist Partners often endure further trauma by therapists who want to call us names such as co-dependent, co-addict or co-sex addict. Many therapists claim to use the ‘trauma model’ but want the Partners to share in the blame, commit to staying with the sex addict for a year before making any […]
What Partners Say-Sisterhood of Support In this new weekly series, ‘What Partners Say’ I have gleaned the best of the best testimonials from the private forums of what partners say about sex addiction and the support they get from the Sisterhood. These are all anonymous and any personal information has been removed. Some of the comments may […]
In this new weekly series, ‘What Partners Say’ I have gleaned the best of the best wisdom from the private forums of what partners say about sex addiction.
One of the first reactions of women who discover that their husband or partner is a sex addict is to get him into sex addiction therapy. But, does that therapy really work?
Why does a man choose hookers over his family? Why didn’t we see this major flaw in our husbands? Why do we stay and have nervous breakdowns when we find out? Why do therapists push us towards acknowledging our part? Why are we triggered? Why can’t we just walk out the door and never look […]
It is time to publicly rate your therapist. Somehow, some way the ‘do no harm’ philosophy has been lost on CSATs and therapists who counsel sex addicts and their partners. I hear story after story after story of blame shifting, name calling and outright deception and lying about the therapists undisclosed addictions. It is time […]
This article, by Dr. Minwalla echoes what we, at the Sisterhood, have been saying for years. Dr. Omar Minwalla is the only professional who really seems to understand the complexity and scope of this thing we call ‘sex addiction’. This article is so important it should be posted on every Partner’s refrigerator and bathroom mirror. […]
Written by a Sister who wishes to remain anonymous… “The heart wants what it wants – or else it does not care.” No, that was not Woody Allen, (although he did quote an obscene version of it as a way to justify running off with his adopted daughter). It was Emily Dickinson, my favorite poet. […]
We have had some interesting discussions in the Sisterhood forums as to whether or not women can find happiness after discovering that they are in a relationship with a sex addict and if their marriage can be better than ever. The phrase that 12 steppers, therapists and Intensive Therapy programs pitch is the ‘Your marriage […]
As you know from my previous post I am working on some audio tapes to help you relax and feel good about yourselves during this stressful time after Discovery and while trying to make those difficult decisions. Well, if you add the holidays to the mix and we are all basket cases. Here is a […]
The news coverage of Ray Rice brutally beating his fiancee unconscious has brought back a flood of memories for me. I was a teen in the 60’s and fought long and hard, alongside other courageous women, to win basic rights. Our right to be treated at least as well as animals does not seem to apply […]
I have the utmost respect for Dr. Omar Milwalla and his work with Partners of Sex Addicts
Some Partners have said that you can always tell when a Sex Addict is lying–because their lips are moving. Unfortunately, that is true. Most Sex Addicts lie out of simple self preservation, preservation of the facade that they present. Let’s think about it. These guys have lied all of their lives. It is second nature. […]
Honestly, I get so sick of reading and hearing over and over that men are genetically programmed to cheat. Those espousing this theory claim that men are programmed to spread their seed far and wide in order to ensure the survival of the species. Just like other male based thought processes, this one just doesn’t […]